Turning 40!

This morning while having my coffee and thinking about how to make this a fun day, it is a monumental event of course, you only turn 40 once.  We have to do school, having missed for vacation, there is really no more playtime left.  Then I have to clean up some around here because we have bible study here tonight, and it’s a pigsty.  Then I guess I have to cook the family some dinner.  So, since I can't have a total "ME" day.  I decided to count my blessings today literally.  My inspiration comes from the book “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp.  This way I’ll be sure to see the many blessings of an otherwise ordinary day. 

1)    A wake-up kiss and happy birthday wish from my favorite person.
2)       A willing daughter to make me breakfast before the sun came up.

      3)      A son who found the time to give me a flower.
       4)      Vanilla creamer in my coffee.
       5)      Crisp fall morning and frisky dogs.
       6)      Happy Birthdays on FaceBook
       7)      My sisters and their love toward me. (All 30 or so, of them).
       8)      Starting school late, because we can.
       9)      My daughter praising the Lord because her math was easy.
       10)      My son willingly being my shopping buddy this afternoon, even though he wasn’t getting anything.
      11)   A new plaque that says “Greet each day with thanks” to put on my mantle.
      12)   A clean house with cozy lamp light and candles.
      13)   Bible study with loved ones and The Truth Project.
      14)   Cousins giggling.
      15)   Chinese take-out the day before some healthy eating starts.

What better gift than to realize what you already have.

A Mountaintop Experience

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, “Your God reigns!”
Isaiah 52:6-8

    Finally I got to put my arms around and touch the hands of my sisters.  For four years we have laughed, cried, prayed, rejoiced and loved one another.  It was an experience not of this world and one I will never forget.  I continue to relive it, I even dreamed we were still together last night.  Everyone was so excited as the ladies arrived.  They would stop whatever they were doing and run out to greet them before they could even get out of the car.  Some even chased the cars as they were leaving on the last day.  I won't mention any names.  It was truly as close as earth can come to heaven.

Back when this began, I was struggling with my weight again and chose to start a program.  I knew that the program alone wasn’t what I really needed.  I didn’t know what I needed, so I prayed.  I asked the Father to give me whatever it was that would help me to lose the weight, then I waited.  Within two days He answered my prayer.  He led me to a discussion group on the program’s website, a Christian Support Group.  Now here we are, around 30 of us, such good friends.  They all mean the world to me.

What better place for us to unite than the mountains!  High in the Smokies, we spent the weekend laughing, talking, lots of eating, worshipping, some crying.  I felt Jesus in this place and when it was time for me to go, a bittersweet feeling overcame me.  God was truly with us and I know that He worked just as hard as the committee to orchestrate our time together.  His presence was so powerful.  I sure didn’t want to come down from that mountaintop!

A Quiet Lesson

See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.  But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.  We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end.  As has just been said:

“Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion.”

Heb. 3:12-15

     Praying today I asked the Father to help me to hear His Spirit speaking to me better.  Sometimes I feel the things that drag me down and frustrate me are so much louder than what He has to say.  His words and wisdom get drowned out by sin’s deceitfulness and all I hear is myself reacting.  I went so far as to ask Him to yell at ME, so I would hear Him today.  Ludicrous, I know, but I did.  And do you know what happened next?  I think I learned something.
     As soon as I said it, I knew it wasn’t really God’s way.  His Spirit is a quiet voice inside.  The one that calmly sits in the background, all the while knowing what is the right thing to do, waiting patiently for me to listen and obey.  It doesn’t yell.  I thought about my childhood and how I was disciplined, how I learned discipline.  I learned a loud one.  Raising one’s voice was a very common way to get a point across in my house and it is probably pretty common in most homes.  Mine included.  I’ve grown accustomed to learning that way.  I don’t want that for my kids.
     I don’t want them to grow up and not know how to listen to their conscience over their own sinful reactions.  I want them to learn through wise, consistent council.  I want them to learn from their mistakes.  I want the pain to come from a lesson learned, not from some harsh word that I spewed out in a fit of frustration.  I want to discipline like the Lord disciplines me.  He doesn’t yell.  He waits for me to figure things out.  From my favorite book of James:  My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

     So this is new for me, but I’m going to throw a question out there and hope that I can gain some wisdom and encouragement and hopefully the discussion will help others too.  Have you ever had a problem with yelling?  How have you conquered it?





My Audience, My Savior, My Friend

     I think about some of those reality shows where people have allowed a film crew to come into their home and set up a camera to observe them in their everyday lives.  One I specifically thought of was Jon & Kate Plus 8.  I used to watch it when it first began and I would cringe at the way they would treat one another, especially the disrespect of the wife toward her husband.  I would think, “How can she do that, and look so foolish when she knows the cameras are there?”
     Today I was wondering why it is so difficult to remember that Jesus sent his Spirit and that he is with me, always.  Every move I make, thought I entertain, decision I have to make, conflict I encounter, he is there.  Sometimes I don’t obey what the Spirit is trying to tell me and I choose to go it alone.  Just like the millions watching Jon & Kate destroy their marriage he is watching me mess up too.  My relationship with my husband is great, but I disobey in so many other ways.  I lose my patience with the kids.  I shirk my responsibilities and choose the fun thing instead.  I can be cruel and unloving.  I complain, get stressed out and lose my faith.  All while he watches me, waiting for me to remember my place.

     Where is that place?  It’s in him.  John 15:5 says, I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit;  apart from me you can do nothing.  I have to remember he is there.  Without him life is fruitless, I am a dead and withered branch.  Not only do I further his kingdom by remaining where I need to be, but he returns that faith with blessings.  Also, when I thought about it from the camera in the room perspective, I don’t want to be a fool.  I may not have millions of people watching me, but the most important, the Lord, is watching and I’d like my ratings to get better.

Turning Over a New Leaf - For There Is Always One to be Turned

     A change is in the air.  A warm autumn feeling rushes through me today.  Just as the tired, dry leaves will soon be descending from the trees to make room for spring's rebirth, so too am I shedding the old to make way for the new. 

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives.  Gal. 5:25

If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.  2 Tim. 2:21



Obeying the Voice of God

It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.
This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom.
^22-23But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.  Galatians 5:19-23

     How many times have I tried to encourage someone in my life by telling them that God must be planning something better for them?  I’ve thought about God’s plan for my life and been comforted to know that He has one and that He is working on it.  In my darkest hours I’ve consoled myself with the thoughts that there would be a bright morning after the cloudy nights in my life.  Reading this in my Message translation this week has me thinking about God and His plans in a whole different way.  I wonder how many times I have gotten in the way of those plans.
     Every day and every minute His Spirit is with me, guiding my footsteps.  My prayers are constantly filled with pleadings for His help with what seems like the same problems or I pray for strength for my same weaknesses.  I sometimes doubt that He is hearing me.  I wait on an answer for those same struggles to go away.  Today I thought of the many times I have been deep in the heart of a battle and in the heat of the moment received a clear message from the Spirit of what to do, and blatantly ignored it.  Right there!  He was helping me and I didn’t listen.  How many blessings have I missed?  How many wrong roads have I gone down and delayed the progress of my journey with the Father?  How sad.
      I have never felt more motivated to start paying attention.  His love is so constant and He is always there and always giving me the answers I need for this life.  It’s up to me to be listening for that sometimes gentle nudge in the right direction.  It’s time to put “me” aside and give God a real chance.  I’ve missed out on things but I don’t have to continue to do so.  His mercies are new every morning for the forgiven and He won’t give up on me.

My Son

     I vividly remember lying on the table staring at the sonogram screen knowing this time I would find out.  I wanted to know you before you got here.  I wanted to call you by name and imagine what time with you would be like.  “It’s a boy,” they said to your dad and I so matter of fact, no doubt in the tech’s voice as he printed out a picture for us to take home.  Your first photograph to show around to whoever we could get to look at it, we did just that and put it in a frame to marvel at for the next few months.  A boy, wow, this was going to be exciting!
     The day you decided to make your entrance into this world was a wonderful sunny September day.  I woke early to a gentle prompting that you were coming, and I was so at peace.  I was home with your three year old sister and went about getting her some breakfast and a short trip to the church office to wrap up some last minute details before my maternity leave.  Then I had a friend go with me to the hospital, fully expecting to be sent home with advice and a written reminder of when to come back for the real thing.  It all seems like yesterday, I was seen by a nurse.  I was staying and this would be your birthday.

     Now here we are nine years later.  You are so much like your dad, and at times I see some of me in my younger years.  You are a great kid.  What a blessing you have been.  I love your funny jokes and your silly faces.  I love how you just need to give me a hug sometimes.  You have so many ideas to tell me and your imagination is out of this world.  I enjoy how you can “play” with no toys.  I adore you in your baseball uniform each spring and can’t wait for you to get your trophy so I can get another picture of you holding it with your sweet, proud smile.  I like your curiosity about the world around you and your need to know how things work.  You got that from your dad.  You are feisty and you got that from me.  I love you.
     Happy birthday, my son.  I pray that your future is full of joy and that you find much love and fullness in your life.  I pray that you never forget your Creator and that you always seek to do His will in your life.  I pray that the people you surround yourself with treasure you as much as we do.  May you trust the Lord to guide you and never fear the unknown.  Lastly, may you be happy, healthy and may you love with all of your heart, always.