Thursday, November 6, 2014

Confession Time

     I have awoken and been convicted of my selfishness the last few days, but rather than be sad and mourn my sin, I am rejoicing because I feel Jesus changing my heart.  This may sound really trivial and just might show you how far I have to go, but last week my husband was given this.  It’s called a People Pleaser.  He is very sentimental and likes to keep things.  When he got it from his sister it was in pieces and no longer had the string holding it together to hang it.  When I saw the pieces I thought they would make nice trivets to hold some hot pans on the table and store away in a drawer the rest of the time.  They didn’t match my décor.  When he saw them, he wanted to fix it and hang it proudly on the wall.  I balked at that and let it sit for a couple of weeks on his dresser.  His mother made it.
     Today I cleaned the house and while I was dusting I came across the People Pleaser again.  I felt ashamed and angry at myself as I dusted his dresser.  My heart ached when I thought about my attitude and all of the other times I have acted that way about such small things, but at the same time HUGE things.  This wasn’t just a decoration to him, it was a memory and a special keepsake of someone that he loved very much who is gone, but her legacy lives on.  This is part of that legacy and it’s something for him to look at and cherish and love because her hands created it.   I dug out my twine and got to work.  It now adorns the dining room wall and I have to admit that it pleases me very much.  Turns out, it’s kind of cute. 
      This isn’t the first time this week that Jesus has taken over my selfish nature.  Yesterday at Walmart I stepped out of my comfort zone and helped a stranger, all the while feeling afraid of them and skeptical of their intentions but steadfast in my step of faith.  Nothing bad happened and I was able to pray with her and it felt wonderful.  The mature Christian, which I should be right now, already knows that obedience brings such amazing peace.  That I am amazed by this shows me how much I still have to learn.  It's not me that does the work, it's him living in me.  I have held it back for far too long and the freedom I feel giving up control is indescribable.  I want more!

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,  not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:1-4