I Once Was Lost

     When I was younger I battled a recurring dream.  It would be the beginning of the school year when everything was new and unfamiliar.  I would be going along and suddenly get this feeling after some time had passed that something was wrong.  Suddenly I found myself very confused about my schedule of classes and was baffled as to what class came next.  Then I would realize with horrifying dread that I had not been to a math class in weeks.  I had just completely forgotten to go.  I would agonize over whether or not to show up after all of this time.  If I did decide to go back, where was it anyway?  If I didn’t go back would anyone notice?  Would I fail the class?  I would wake up completely stressed out and confused.

      I never had any of that happen in real life, but I always wondered why that dream would plague me.  I began to notice a pattern.  I was a control freak.  When I felt like my life was out of control or disorganized, guess what dream I would have?  This morning I was talking to some friends about the need to finish my planning for this school year.  I told them that I’d better get my act together so I didn’t have one of my school nightmares.  It dawned on me after saying that, that it has been a really long time since I have had one. 
     I won’t say that there aren’t times where I forget who is really in control.  But I do think that I have grown some in this area and that trust more and more that things will be alright.  I just do my job to the best of my ability.  I pray about it and ask God to help me in all areas of my children’s schooling, then I have to let go.  I suppose when it comes to my life and how organized I am, a good gauge of my trust in God is to pay attention and see if my old school dream comes back.  It is probably a good message for me when I don’t have my life as together as it could be.  I was in fear of being lost in that dream.  I know that I don’t have to fear that anymore.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. 
Ps. 139:9-12

My peace and comfort lies in these words today.

Unconditional Love

Loneliness can overtake thoughts even when you are connected.  Even sharing the same air and sunshine, time and space, you can still feel isolated and lost.  Love can reach beyond the hopelessness and nurture and share.  When two are one, joy can beat from one heart to the other.  When one has much to give, they should sacrifice when the other is lacking.







Isn't that what love is all about?





A Kind Word = Beautiful Home

     The vibes around our home are all wrong.  One snapping, then the other, it seems no one can do a thing right.  I shake my head in wonder.  Why are they acting this way?  I can’t understand it, they were so happy yesterday when my day was going well and I woke up happy.  Then it hit me.  I didn’t wake up so happy today.  I woke up snapping and impatient.  My first words were criticism and discontent at what I found when I walked into the kitchen and a mess looked me in the eye and seemingly said, “Good morning, so glad you joined me.”
     I thought about all of the parenting books I’ve read and what my common sense tells me.  Of course, their mood will feed off of mine.  Aren’t we the same way as adults?  Our moods also feed off of others; seems we are on an endless chain of emotional roller coasters.  Does it have to be that way?  Of course not!  So how do I break this cycle?  Time to dive into God’s word again and find out what advice my Father has for me today.

     I read the most wonderful Proverb today in my Message version. 

Congenial conversation—what a pleasure!  The right word at the right time – beautiful! 

     I read many other verses about attitude and getting along with people and they all helped me very much.  But this one, really spoke to me.  It said to me, “The right word at the right time can make life beautiful.”  It can change everything from being ugly to being a sight to behold.  I have the power with a single word to change the entire atmosphere in this home.  I have to stop, sometimes count to ten, pray for sure, and say the right words.  I’m pretty good with words when I want to be so I can do this.



     If I ever think I can’t I must remember Moses. 

But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”

Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord?  Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.”

     My attitude has to be one of willingness.  I need to be the peacemaker.  If I want peace in my home I can’t wait for everyone else to act like I want them to before I will be at peace.  No, I have to do my part even if no one else is doing theirs.  I could have paid better attention to the timing of my words, like the verse says.  The mess could have been addressed in a kind manner after a “good morning”, in other words.

I Wonder if I'm Alone...



My love for you, Lord, called me to raise my hands and close my eyes and listen to the voices harmoniously melting together, and just feel.  Love is a difficult thing.  We must honor and respect all and be careful not to create waves.  The comfort of others should come before our own.  Feeling pulled in two directions and unsure what you would have me do.  I sing praises with my hands down and my eyes open, but inside it’s a different story.  You know that full well.



When Life Hands You Lemons....

Make the most out of a hot, lazy Saturday afternoon.  Work together, cooperate, and see the fruits of your labor.  Make some smiles on the faces of generous neighbors, not really stopping because they are thirsty, but because of you out there sweating, working and hoping....make some lemonade.



Cherishing my Children

     They come into our lives with a bang!  We spend nine months planning and reading parenting books.  We decorate nurseries and listen to words of wisdom, and "think" we are ready.  After the shock is over and we have adjusted, we raise them up...

There are struggles and stages; phases and milestones and before we know it (so they tell me) they are gone.  They make a landing into their place in this world...

Only so many years to be with them every day.  Make the most of it...I tell myself.  The years breeze by and they are growing.  Growing up.....and landing.

I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime – until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” (Isaiah 46:3-4 NLT)

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. ~Frederick Douglass

Turning That Frown Upside Down

     "Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

 God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son." Romans 8:26-29 MSG


     She was disappointed this morning because her horse was out in the pasture when we got to the stables.  Looking forward to her Monday morning bath time with her muddy horse, only to chase her to no avail, left her pouting in the car on the way home.  I reminded her of the reasons she has to be thankful anyway.  I suggested that just maybe God knew that something bad might happen to her on her horse today and that was why it happened.  I taught her through some previous parables we already learned and a new one I just read today...

     Saturday night at church we played a game, "The Feet Game", for lack of a better name.  All of our children got under a long row of tables and parents took turns, blindfolded, trying to pick out the feet of their children.  You'd think this was easy, right?  Not so.  It was very hard.  We did several rounds of this game with hands and feet, switching between husbands, wives and children then we sat in a circle and discussed the outcome and our thoughts.  We spoke about knowing one another and knowing ourselves.  Sometimes we think we know each other really well, when maybe we really don't. That we should never be to quick to judge someone's intentions. And that God knows us better than we even know ourselves.   He knows what we are capable of even when we don't.  We should follow his lead and trust Him to take care of us and not be tossed to and fro by the ups and downs of life.

     A few years ago the kids and I read a story for school from a book called "In Grandma's Attic".  There was a story about a young pioneer girl who was really looking forward to the annual town picnic.  She counted down the days until the night before she came down with a terrible illness and couldn't go.  She was really looking forward playing by the river and had many adventurous feats planned for the day, as was usually the case, she being naturally fearless.  The day came and she was forced to stay home in bed.  It just so happened that all of her friends did go and play by the river and there had been a great deal of rain that season and it was high and roaring rapidly.  As they were making their way across, several of them fell in and would have been swept away if it had not been for their cautious ways and the fact that they stuck together and didn’t go out too far.  The moral at the end of the story was that if she had been well enough to go that she would have surely been swept away, because she was always going a step further than the other girls and that God must have had his hand in her being home safe and sound.

     Today I was reading my favorite blog, “A Holy Experience” by Ann Voskamp (www.aholyexperience.com) and she had this story that fit so well, especially since it even contained a horse. 

     How a white stallion had rode into the paddocks of an old man and all the villagers had congratulated him on such good fortune. And the old man had only offered this: “Is it a curse or a blessing? All we can see is a sliver. Who can see what will come next?”

     When the white horse ran off, the townsfolk were convinced the white stallion had been a curse. The old man lived surrendered and satisfied in the will of God alone: “I cannot see as He sees.”

     And when the horse returned with a dozen more horses, the townsfolk declared it a blessing, yet the old man said only, “It is as He wills and I give thanks for His will.”

     Then the man’s only son broke his leg when thrown from the white stallion. The town folk all bemoaned the bad fortune of that white stallion. And the old man had only offered, “We’ll see. We’ll see. It is as He wills and I give thanks for His will.”

     When a draft for a war took all the young men off to battle but the son with the broken leg, the villagers all proclaimed the good fortune of that white horse. And the old man said but this, “We see only a sliver of the sum. We cannot see how the bad might be good. God is sovereign and He is good and He sees and work all things together for good.”

     I’d like to think that I helped her.  She got quiet after this talk and didn’t really complain any more.  She either learned something or she wanted me to stop telling her stories.