Monday, June 6, 2011

Those Were the Days

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.  2 Corinthians 7:10
Cute little chubby cheeks and big crocodile tears looking into the lens.  He was heartbroken that I had left for a nightly outing.  Standing at the door and screaming for Mommy, while Daddy tried to comfort his little soul.  Watching old home movies, I don’t really long to go back to that time, I enjoy this time, but I do long for something else.  Watching my children in those videos is priceless.  The sweet chaos and endless noises each clip contained are music to my ears now.  Were they then?  Did I treasure each moment?  I know I didn’t.  Some moments even brought me to tears.
     When I looked at my face in some of those movies, I feel sad.  I didn’t look as happy as I know I was when I think of those times now.  I was wishing I could turn back time and change my attitude.  Regret has no place in a Christian walk, except maybe to help us change the present.  I guess ,in that sense, regret can be a good thing, if it causes us to look at today and decide that we will not regret the here and now. 
     There will still be frustrations today.  I have to look past them and find the joy in every situation.  It’s there somewhere.  It may be hard to find, but it’s there.  I want to laugh more and carry a smile.  I want to stop and listen more and really hear my children, especially now when they are really talking to me, not just chattering.  Sometimes it’s still just chatter, but more often they really want to talk to me.  I want to have time for them in a world with no time.  I want to teach them to find joy and save them from regret.
     A worldly regret never resolves itself.  A person can wallow in it for a lifetime and never find happiness because they live in the past; a past that they can never change. However, Godly regret and true repentance can change generations to come.  No, I didn’t smile in those videos enough.  I can smile today.  I can seek forgiveness from God and my family and I can see the world in a new light.  It’s never too late to stop regretting and start changing.